Marveltalia
by killerninja123
Summary: Experience where all marvel characters are having their everyday crazy antics with no logic whatsoever. Characters from other movies/comics will appear in future chapters: Ben Riley, Deadpool, and etc.
1. Spider brothers part 1

It was another day in the hideout in Iceland. The light bulbs were dim and the kettle of water of cooking. Captain America, or Steve Rodgers and his team was doing their every day routine as always. Steve Rodgers was reading a book, Wanda was talking with Clint, Scott was playing with his ants, and Sam was sleeping. Steve knew staying in the U.S would be a death zone for his team, so they went to Iceland to hide. Of course he forgot who's bright idea was to go to Iceland, but he was sure it was Scott's idea. At first he thought it was a horrible idea, but he realized it wasn't so bad. The population was small and no one would think twice to go there. Also their licorice is so bitter.

 _Knock! Knock!_

Steve lowered his book as he set it down at the nightstand. Wanda and Clint stopped talking, Scott stopped playing with his ants, and Sam woke up. The only thing Steven could do was frown. He knew that no one shouldn't know where he was. He did told a couple of people he could trust and he was sure there was no way they wouldn't tell anyone.

As Steve got up, he walked over to the door and peered into the eye hole. Eyes widened, he gasped. A familiar blond fifteen year old boy was standing at the front of his door, looking very nervous and scared. Steve opened the door and the boy stepped inside. He sighed as his hands fell onto his knees.

"Ben, what are you doing here?" Steve asked.

Ben Riley, was his teammate that he recruited. Sure it was very risky for him to recruit a teenager, but Tony was doing the same thing anyway, so it wasn't hard to recruit him because Ben just walked up to them, showed his powers, and asked to join for some reason. Although he was very useful to fight Spider-Man, but it looked like those two do know each other too. Of course Steven didn't want to intrude Ben's private and hero life and decided to find out in his own way. also Aside from Sharon, Ben was the other and only person who knows where they were. Also he has a foul mouth.

"Shh!" Ben hissed. "I can't let him find me!"

"Did someone found out where we are?" Steve questioned.

Ben shook his head. "No, but I'm being followed by some bastard."

"By who?"

"Spider-Man, but his name is Peter Parker. He's..." Ben made a sour face. "My shitty older twin."

Steve's eyes widened. Now that made sense. He did thought those two were related in some way, but he never thought they were closely related. Besides, he just wanted to know why Peter is following Ben for.

"Why is he following you?" Wanda asked.

Ben shivered. "He wanted me to say the B word."

Steven blinked. "The B word? You mean bitch?"

Ben rolled his eyes. "No, you fucking idiot! It's two B words, three syllables, and I'll never, _never_ say it!"

"What's so bad about those words?" Scott asked.

Steve nodded. He too wanted to know what's so bad about those two B words. It's not like Ben could die from it by saying those words. It must be something that he and his twin had been arguing for a while.

Ben gulped as if he was about to cry. "Every time I'm at home, he's there and he would get close to me and begged me to say it to him. He'll begged me, in a whisper tone in my ear every time. He would stalk me around school, when I'm alone, in my sleep, and never leave me alone! I called him that word when we were kids, but that's when Peter lied about his age to me. I had enough of him and went here instead, but every time I hid and thought I was safe, I say the words and he appeared. Every single time I'm day away, say the word, he appeared!"

Steven raised a brow. "Ben, I'm sure that's highly not possible if you say the word, your brother appears."

"You don't know him! He's like a desperate maniac!"

"What's the words he wanted you to say?" Sam asked.

"I fucking can't say it!" Ben snapped. "He'll appear."

"Come on, you're like far away from New York!" Sam exclaimed. "There was no way he could like afford a one way plane ticket here."

Steve knew he was right. Plane tickets are expansive and he wasn't sure how Ben got here, but he must had save up tons of money to buy a ticket to go here. Ben growled and crossed his arms as he pouted. He glanced at them and gestured them to him. Wanda, Clint, Scott, and Sam walked up to him as they stood next to Steve. Ben pursed his lips and gestured again. The two moved closer. Ben gestured again and this time, the five adults got close to Ben as their heads.

"It's...it's..." Ben gulped and whispered very quietly. "Big brother."

 _CRASH!_

Suddenly, something smashed through the roof and a cloud dusk appeared. Steven and the others, aside from Ben coughed as the smoke vanished. In front of them was a fifteen year old boy that looked like Ben, but with brown hair.

"Did I hear you say big brother?" Peter grinned.

"GAHHHHHHH!" Ben screamed.

"Little brother, I know you said it!" Peter said. "Come here!"

"Over my fucking dead body you bastard!" Ben snapped. "I never said it!"

"But you always say it indirectly to me!"

"Oh my god, leave me alone!"

"Not until you say it!"

"No!"

In the speed of light, Peter pinned Ben against the wall with his hands raised up. Ben gulped as Peter leaned over to Ben's ear with a smirk on his face.

"Come on, I know you want to say it," Peter said.

"No!" Ben growled.

"Say it!"

"No!"

"Big brother."

"No."

"Big brother."

"Not going to say it."

"Big brother."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Big brother!"

Ben glared at his twin and pushed him away as he raced out of the hideout running, screaming. Peter gasped as he ran after his younger twin, shouting big brother, big brother.

To this day, Steve, Sam, Scott, Clint, and Wanda were reminded that whenever Ben is around, make sure he doesn't say "big brother" because fixing a roof is hard for runaway superheroes.


	2. Spider brothers part 2

It was night. The moon was up and the stars were bright. Ben stretched his arms as he laid down on his bed. As much as he didn't like living with that stupid twin of his, he was glad he was able to get his own room and no one couldn't get in, unless it was him and Aunt May. Also his room was Peter-proof as well, so there was no way someone like his twin brother could get in.

With a sigh, Ben closed his eyes, pulling the covers over him. After ten minutes passed, Ben frowned. It was quiet. A bit too quiet. He opened his eyes and his eyes moved around. Everything was in place and it looked like everything was normal. Ben sighed to himself. Maybe it was just him. As he turned around, he froze.

Eyes widened, mouth opening, he screamed. "AAAHHHHH!"

Next to him was none other than his older twin brother, Peter. He was fully wide awake with a smile across his face. Ben leaped out of his bed and gasping for breath. He wasn't sure how long he was in here, but all he wanted was for Peter to leave him the fuck alone!

"What the fuck are you doing in here?!" Ben snapped.

"Can't a brother sleep with his little brother?" Peter asked.

"Get out!" Ben shouted. "Don't you have some Spider-man work to do?"

"Not until you call me big brother!" Peter said.

Ben growled. "No!"

"Big brother!"

"No!"

"Big brother."

"No."

"Big brother."

"Get the fuck out!"

Then Peter grabbed his wrist and pinned him on the bed. Peter shoot his webs as the webs binded Ben's wrists and feet. Ben gulped as Peter stare down at him and his brother leaned over to him.

 **Meanwhile...**

Steve was in his office, doing nothing, except just staring into space. He was so bored and he wasn't sure what to do. The others were in their rooms doing something that can entertain them, however, Scott was reenacting a show that he saw on T.V., something about naked giants being killed by swinging flying people. Then his cellphone rang and Steve picked it up.

"Hello?" he greeted.

"CAP HELP!" Ben screamed. "HELP! OW! OW! HELP! IT WON'T GET OUT! IT WON'T GET OUT!" then there was another voice in the phone. "HOLY SHIT, HOLD STILL! AH!"

Then the phone from the other side went off and there was silence. Steve wasn't sure what was happening to Ben and his brother, Peter this time, but he knew it had to be something major.

"Help?" Steve repeated. "Ow? Ow? Help? It won't get out?"

Then Steve's eyes widened and gasped as he dropped the phone.

 **Later...**

Steve raced up the stairs as fast as he could. He prayed that nothing bad happened to Ben. Of all people, it had t be his own twin brother? What kind of twin does he really have? As he got to the apartment room, he kicked the door open and raced into Ben's room. Once he got there, he pushed the door opened.

"Ben are you alright?" Steve screamed. "Are you-"

Steve gasped and blinked. Ben growled at him and crossed his arms, while his brother was trying to hug him. The twin's head were stuck together by the webs.

Ben huffed. "Finally you're here! What the hell took you so long?! Get this off of me!"

Steve narrowed his eyes. "So it was just webs?"


	3. Deadpool narration

What's up chimichangas, it's none other than the famous mother fucking Deadpool. I'm going to narrate this chapter because for some reason the author of this Hetalia inspired story, (if you clearly didn't noticed yet, than you're fucking stupid! It on the fucking title!) wanted me to be that narrator in the show...So basically, I'm that fucking awesome bitches. I guess it wouldn't be too fuckin bad. Besides, I'm sure you guys are waiting for a particular inspired story about...I don't know I forgot, something about Italy and that guy he gave...was it a broom or was it his panties? I forgot, anyway, let's get onto the story. I'm too lazy to watch the anime and manga.

Also don't be upset of how I tell the story you mother fucking cry babies! I'm telling the story and this is how the awesome fucking Deadpool sees it! So shut the fuck up! This is Deadpool's time to tell!

During the awesome action pack movie of civil war between Iron Man and Captain America, those two were having their usual husband and wife argument. Seriously had anyone even told them to go fucking marriage counseling? It's not that hard, those assholes. So anyway, this war was a big deal. Chris has his bff/potential new boyfriend, Sebby (is it alright I can call him Sebby? His name reminds me of that hot sexy demon butler?) vs Robert and Chadwick.

There were at that place where it was snowing like fucking crazy in the movie. Robert and Chadwick were waiting for Chris and Sebby to arrive. That place...whatever the hell it is.

Robert smirked and chuckled. "Looks like there is no way for them to get here!"

"Are you sure we should be prepare if they do get here?" Chadwick asked.

"Relax it's fine!" Robert shivered and hugged his body. "Besides, I'm so cold, my nipples are freezing!"

"Well be careful the cold doesn't give you a cold."

"Also there is no way they could get here!" Robert beamed. "Everything is blocked and the sea is frozen..."

While Robert was talking and never shutting up, Chadwick spotted a familiar hunky sexy shadow walking across the lake. He let out a bored sighed and glanced at Robert.

"Tony, we have a problem," Chadwick pointed out.

Robert blinked. "Huh?!"

Walking across the frozen lake was none other than Chris Evans...Captain America...Erwin Smith...whatever you want to call him, I don't give a fuck. Anyway he was walking across the river and waiting behind him was Sebby and their plane. Robert turned pale like the ice. He knew full fucking well he was toast. Like so toast that you can see he's being a pussy about it.

"What are we going to do?" Chadwick asked. "We're defenseless and everyone is at home."

Robert shook his head. "Relax, I can handle it. Let me show you how it's done!"

"But we're going to loose!"

"Don't worry, I'll show you how a true hero looses!"

Chadwick sighed. "This is hopeless."

You got that right!

Robert jumped onto the frozen lake as Chris walked up to him, only have a gap that was around seven, probably ten feet away. I don't know I didn't count. I was too busy eating popcorn and drinking beer to remember the whole thing. Chris glared up at Robert and Robert just laughed as usual. He crossed his arms and gave out his usual Robert Downy Jr smirk.

"Not bad Rodgers!" Robert said. "As if you can defeat me! I'm better, smarter, and way more-"

Before Robert can go onto his rants, Chris grabbed him and have him the usual headbutt to make him fucking shut up like they always do whenever they fight. Robert gasped as he fell onto the ice and tons of blood started pouring form his skull.

"See, T'Challa!" Robert moaned. "This is how it's done!"

"Aw man did I just broke a nail?" T'Challa looked at his nail and blow on it.

The end mother fuckers!

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You're still here? Why? It's over! The chapter is done? You guys can't get enough of my sexy Ryan Reynolds voice? Too bad! Go away and do something! Read some yaoi or yuri! Watch that new anime with that sexy flying short guy! Why read this fanfiction? Do you guys really enjoy this? I'm not a reliable narrator! For crying out loud this fanfiction has Tomcest for crying out loud! I know you're that kind of person who likes to read these things, I know you're fucking out there bitches, I'm not that stupid! You guys are sick!

Anyway, you want me to narrate again, huh? Well too bad, I'm not fucking narrating the next chapter! I will eventually make an appearance before I narrate again! Just do what you do, in this website! Jesus Christ, seriously this was a waste of my time! I'm going in my room and be with my unicorn!

The next chapter will be about...I don't give a fuck, flying mint bunnies or something I don't know...

Deadpool out! Peace bitches!


End file.
